something more

this can't be it. this can't be all there is to it. I wake up each morning in hopes of seeing something new, of finding something no one else has ever found, of living a day that has never been lived before. But most of the time, I go to bed at the end of the evening and still have this yearning within my soul. There is this void that has yet to be filled by anything that I have sought to fill it.

It's funny because I know exactly what the cure is. I know exactly what it is that I need to do in order to stop feeling this way, to finally be able to rest and wake up relaxed--to put my mind at ease and to put an end to this seemingly endless search that I unknowingly embark upon every morning of this life as I know it. And that cure is Romance. but not just any romance. This Romance is one with my Savior, my best friend, my lover, and my Father. It always used to baffle me how one being could be so many things to someone and never contradict themselves. But He is. He is everything I need, every single day of my life. So why is it that I continue to fill this ever opening void with something other than the only thing that can satiate it? It makes absolutely no logical sense (and that is somewhat senile for someone like me, who always strives to do everything in the most logical, efficient way possible).

I know for a fact that God has provided us as humans with SO many resources here on earth- in the form of our friends, family members, significant others, HIS WORD, nature, and so many other countless things- yet so many people choose to spend their time mentally detached from this world watching TV, completely oblivious to the great scheme and plan that we are a part of. Our stories are being written and our lives are passing right before our eyes! The human race has created so many distractions from God that we don't even know what it is that we want anymore. We keep searching for something to fulfill us and make us happy but the truth is that if that "something" were something that we could create or think of ourselves, why in the heck would we need a SAVIOR!? why do I and so many others keep trying to do it on our own? Most days I just frustrate myself.

In a way it seems and sounds so simple, but as we all have heard, things are not always as they seem. I think many of us know the cure for this epidemic. We just don't know how to implement it. Our minds have been so poisoned by this world that we wouldn't know purity or things that are right, good, noble, trustworthy, and beneficial if they hit us between the eyes. We know all the right words but we don't know what they truly mean. I think we all know what we want our lives to look like (hence the "something more," we just don't know how to make it happen). So we all go on this journey searching for a way to give our lives meaning. To make ourselves feel like we can make a difference. To be different.