Why is grace so hard for us? Hard to accept, hard to give. We want others to give it to us, but we can't give it as easily as we want it to be given to us. And then sometimes, when it is given, it's hard for us to accept because we don't feel like we deserve it. But that's the beauty of grace- without the undeserving recipient, it wouldn't be grace. Grace defined is undeserved goodness. And in a world built on merit and self-sufficiency, it's no wonder we fight it.
One thing I have been struck by and have been deep in thought and prayer about over the last couple of months is forgiveness and its link to grace. It is no coincidence, I believe, that my devotion this morning was about bitterness and how God, our Jehovah-Rapha, our Healer-God, leads us through our bitterness and into mercy if we draw near to Him and let Him heal us. Because what do unforgiveness and withholding grace bring but bitterness? And how beautiful is the heart of the One who sets us free from both of those things by His striking actions of grace and mercy during His time on earth and in His continued love and abounding forgiveness towards us now!
I think sometimes, and really more often than not, we can't expect grace from other humans unless we can give it first. Until we have been deeply wounded by someone and then must decide (even if they aren't remorseful) to pick up the pieces, swallow our pride and pain, and forgive, we won't be able to appreciate grace when it is given to us when we are the offender. There is something so incredibly peaceful about laying your hurts at the feet of Jesus and giving it over to Him, trusting that "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." -Psalm 147:3.
I could write a book about how unforgiveness is like heavy chains, pulling you down into an abyss of anger, pain, and bitterness that truly and honestly hurts no one but you. In my moments of weakness and resistance to forgive, I think about where I would be if that's how Jesus looked at me. If He didn't have a heart of love and mercy, and on top of that if His mercies weren't new every single morning...I would have nothing to stand on. Nothing I have done or can do could ever earn me the kind of grace I've been granted in Him. And when I ponder that, grace from others seems irrelevant. It would be nice, sure, but we're all humans. We are all imperfect and sometimes struggle with grace when we are hurt. But I am thankful for a God who transcends that and who loves us past and through our failures and unfaithfulness.
Dave Barnes said it best in his song How Long when he said "Forgiveness is a heavy promise, it's a language that's so hard to speak."
But let's do it. Let's learn to forgive, and offer grace, even if it isn't offered to us. Because really, it was offered to us, by the One who gave up everything for our sinful souls. That is grace. Let's let that be our motivation to give grace to others, not their willingness to ask for it. I've seen what choosing to forgive can do...and it is indeed a beautiful thing. And I have peace beyond comprehension, because when I give grace, I am showing the love of Jesus, and after all, isn't that why we're here?
