Peace for me is to rest in the eye of the storm.
There is chaos- wind, waves, and rain- all around me
But I am here in Your arms, trusting
For Your plan is sovereign
And it is good.
You are teaching me that Your plan is best
And the more I strive for my own,
The more I venture out into the storm.
To surrender my plan keeps me in Yours,
Keeps me in the eye of the storm.
I don't get ahead of myself,
I don't worry about outcomes,
I just trust.
And trust brings freedom
Because in the chaos, I have no control.
I hate chaos and I hate being out of control,
So why do I go out into the storm
Expecting a different outcome?
I am always more at peace
When I stay in the eye, His eye
Always under His watch and care,
Resting in His vision and plan.
Oh let it be,
Let me be washed by the storm,
Washed clean of my plans--
To rest in the eye of the storm
Where Your plan prevails,
And where peace abounds.
♥
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Sunday, February 3, 2013
♥ > hate
Okay I just have to say this: people are ignorant and infuriating. Let me clarify. When I come across people who are hypocritical, judgmental, and rude, I become infuriated at their lack of empathy and understanding. I guess that's what happens to you when you are surrounding by mostly loving, understanding, non-judgmental counselors for 2 years, and then are obligated to be around other individuals in other areas of your life that do not share the same basic ideas about humanity. And you become frustrated because no one sees things through your eyes like other counselors do. Now, don't get me wrong, there are some pretty open-minded, loving individuals out there who are not counselors, but from my experience they are few and far between, and I wouldn't trade my experience over the past 2 years and the people I have met who have challenged me and help me grow for anything in this world.
I will admit, when I first started grad school with intentions to just get my Master's in Counseling and get out, I was not as open minded as I hoped to become, and I was not (and am not now) perfect. But I will also admit that I have grown and changed more in these past 2 years than probably ever before in my life. Not only have I grown in my faith in God (through hardship and being forced back into His arms by difficulties), but I have grown as a human being and as a counselor. And one thing that both of those areas of growth have informed me of is this: If Christians are what a lot of the world perceives them to be, I don't want to be one. Now, that being said, I will say that I don't believe that true Christians who have a growing relationship with Christ are as they are thought to be by most. The problem is the vast number of "Christians" (and I put that in quotations to emphasize that either they don't know what it means or they aren't living it if they do) don't actually live anything like Christ.
I have become hypersensitive to and even offended by comments, phrases, labels, and jokes that are directed at any non-dominant, minority population (including blacks, gays, lesbians, Asians, Indian, Arab, or any other population) that is underrepresented and misunderstood. When people I know say negative, degrading things about these groups, verbalize ignorant stereotypes, or judge based on looks, I can literally feel the anger boiling up inside me. It is all I can do not to just take people by the shoulders and shake them and say "Do you hear what you are saying?? That is a child of God you are talking about!!" Not that it would do any good. Unfortunately, many Christians think that for some reason, even though God has given them grace and forgiven them their sins, they are not obligated to extend this grace to others. They think that if someone is doing wrong in their sight, then to judge them is not a sin. Well, they are wrong. I am not saying that I have never judged or looked down on someone in the past, but I am also realizing how wrong it was. Jesus Christ himself was the most loving, non-judgmental, accepting person that ever walked this planet, and I guarantee you that if He were physically here on Earth today, those groups are the exact ones that he would be spending his time with. Just look at his ministry in any of the 4 gospels. He didn't hang out with the most privileged, rich, well-to-do, or popular people that everyone accepted. He ate meals with prostitutes, tax collectors, and others who were considered outcasts or different. Why should we as his followers be any different?? Why should we ever be caught judging or deeming ourselves better than anyone? How repulsive a human race we have become!
I guess when you have sat in a room with a broken, misunderstood, and depressed gay college student who just wants someone to understand him and not judge him based on what they see, and who has been on the verge of committing suicide because of how he has been tormented by what our world would label "good kids"...your heart is literally ripped out of your chest at his tears, and it is everything you can do not to hold him as he weeps--these things come a little easier and with more conviction. No human being should ever have to experience that. No matter what. It is so wrong. I don't expect everyone to understand or even agree with me. All I'm saying is that if you say you believe in love and grace in the name of Christ, it has to go for everyone. You don't get to pick. Just because your sins are forgiven, doesn't mean you have a reason to judge others or hate anyone. "ALL have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." (Romans 3:23) You are no better than anyone. God offers salvation to everyone equally. Stop the hate, especially the hate that is in the name of God. The great Redeemer would be ashamed. Love is the only thing that truly heals.
I will admit, when I first started grad school with intentions to just get my Master's in Counseling and get out, I was not as open minded as I hoped to become, and I was not (and am not now) perfect. But I will also admit that I have grown and changed more in these past 2 years than probably ever before in my life. Not only have I grown in my faith in God (through hardship and being forced back into His arms by difficulties), but I have grown as a human being and as a counselor. And one thing that both of those areas of growth have informed me of is this: If Christians are what a lot of the world perceives them to be, I don't want to be one. Now, that being said, I will say that I don't believe that true Christians who have a growing relationship with Christ are as they are thought to be by most. The problem is the vast number of "Christians" (and I put that in quotations to emphasize that either they don't know what it means or they aren't living it if they do) don't actually live anything like Christ.
I have become hypersensitive to and even offended by comments, phrases, labels, and jokes that are directed at any non-dominant, minority population (including blacks, gays, lesbians, Asians, Indian, Arab, or any other population) that is underrepresented and misunderstood. When people I know say negative, degrading things about these groups, verbalize ignorant stereotypes, or judge based on looks, I can literally feel the anger boiling up inside me. It is all I can do not to just take people by the shoulders and shake them and say "Do you hear what you are saying?? That is a child of God you are talking about!!" Not that it would do any good. Unfortunately, many Christians think that for some reason, even though God has given them grace and forgiven them their sins, they are not obligated to extend this grace to others. They think that if someone is doing wrong in their sight, then to judge them is not a sin. Well, they are wrong. I am not saying that I have never judged or looked down on someone in the past, but I am also realizing how wrong it was. Jesus Christ himself was the most loving, non-judgmental, accepting person that ever walked this planet, and I guarantee you that if He were physically here on Earth today, those groups are the exact ones that he would be spending his time with. Just look at his ministry in any of the 4 gospels. He didn't hang out with the most privileged, rich, well-to-do, or popular people that everyone accepted. He ate meals with prostitutes, tax collectors, and others who were considered outcasts or different. Why should we as his followers be any different?? Why should we ever be caught judging or deeming ourselves better than anyone? How repulsive a human race we have become!
I guess when you have sat in a room with a broken, misunderstood, and depressed gay college student who just wants someone to understand him and not judge him based on what they see, and who has been on the verge of committing suicide because of how he has been tormented by what our world would label "good kids"...your heart is literally ripped out of your chest at his tears, and it is everything you can do not to hold him as he weeps--these things come a little easier and with more conviction. No human being should ever have to experience that. No matter what. It is so wrong. I don't expect everyone to understand or even agree with me. All I'm saying is that if you say you believe in love and grace in the name of Christ, it has to go for everyone. You don't get to pick. Just because your sins are forgiven, doesn't mean you have a reason to judge others or hate anyone. "ALL have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." (Romans 3:23) You are no better than anyone. God offers salvation to everyone equally. Stop the hate, especially the hate that is in the name of God. The great Redeemer would be ashamed. Love is the only thing that truly heals.
Friday, February 1, 2013
Change is good
Seriously, woah. in 3 months and 8 days, I will be done with my Master's. I will be out of grad school and into the "real world" (as if working/going to class 50+ hours a week isn't the real world...ha). I cannot believe it's so close. I absolutely cannot wait.
Also, I have no idea what I'm doing with my life. It's both a scary and exciting thing at the same time. I enjoy doing therapy, and I love all my clients, but I'm starting to wonder if it's what I want to do for the rest of my life. They say the burnout rate for counseling is 5 years. So basically, after the next 3 months, I'll be halfway there (fantastic). Not to mention I am feeling a strong calling from the Lord into some sort of ministry. I have always been interested in women's ministries, ever since I volunteered at a crisis pregnancy center in college. I know I want to help people, and I can feel God drawing me into something big, but I'm not sure what it is yet. I am ready for it though!! I like to look at it as not closing any doors, but opening a whole bunch of new ones, which is pretty freeing if you ask me. I have the world at my fingertips, a (almost) Master's degree, a ton of really great experience, and a heart full of passion for God and people.
I have some really good contacts and Jake and I have started looking for a new place, and I can totally feel God working in my life...it's amazing!
I have come to decide that I like change. I never used to be like that, but recently I've been realizing that change keeps you on your toes, constantly brings new opportunities, challenges, and experiences, and who doesn't enjoy that?! I'm also learning to trust and relax a little more. I've come a long way, but I still have a long way to go. I am so happy and anticipatory of all the good things to come. God's faithfulness will always amaze me ♥
Also, I have no idea what I'm doing with my life. It's both a scary and exciting thing at the same time. I enjoy doing therapy, and I love all my clients, but I'm starting to wonder if it's what I want to do for the rest of my life. They say the burnout rate for counseling is 5 years. So basically, after the next 3 months, I'll be halfway there (fantastic). Not to mention I am feeling a strong calling from the Lord into some sort of ministry. I have always been interested in women's ministries, ever since I volunteered at a crisis pregnancy center in college. I know I want to help people, and I can feel God drawing me into something big, but I'm not sure what it is yet. I am ready for it though!! I like to look at it as not closing any doors, but opening a whole bunch of new ones, which is pretty freeing if you ask me. I have the world at my fingertips, a (almost) Master's degree, a ton of really great experience, and a heart full of passion for God and people.
I have some really good contacts and Jake and I have started looking for a new place, and I can totally feel God working in my life...it's amazing!
I have come to decide that I like change. I never used to be like that, but recently I've been realizing that change keeps you on your toes, constantly brings new opportunities, challenges, and experiences, and who doesn't enjoy that?! I'm also learning to trust and relax a little more. I've come a long way, but I still have a long way to go. I am so happy and anticipatory of all the good things to come. God's faithfulness will always amaze me ♥
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