Rude People

Ok I just need to vent for one second. (Let's be honest, it's already been a second, but no one expected this to last that long anyways). I cannot stand rude people. Inconsiderate people who don't care about anyone's feelings but their own, and who are so caught up in their own lives that they cannot even see the people around them who are their "friends" or who are fellow professionals who deserve respect. I hope that I have never treated anyone with as much disrespect and lack of manners as I have been treated with this week. Do I not deserve that? I wouldn't wish that stuff on my worst enemy. Some people just need to grow up and realize that we are all humans, and no one is better than anyone else, no matter who you think you are.

I have been yelled at, ignored, had eyes rolled at me, and I'm sure plenty of other things that I am unaware of....and the funny part is, all of those people that treated me that way, I was extremely nice to. And I don't even care about them personally! What is this world coming to?! Apparently parents are failing at teaching their kids respect for other humans and learning to treat others kindly, especially if you don't know them.

My thoughts are this: if you are THAT unhappy, to where you can't even smile at and be patient with a stranger who is trying to help you, or respond to your "friend" that you say you care about so much, then honestly I feel sorry for you. That is all.
I feel better now.

This is amazing. That is all.

"All At Once" -The Fray

There are certain people you just keep coming back to

She is right in front of you

You begin to wonder could you find a better one

Compared to her now she's in question

And all at once the crowd begins to sing

Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

Maybe you want her, maybe you need her

Maybe you started to compare to someone not there

Looking for the right one you line up the world to find

Where no questions cross your mind

But she won't keep on waiting for you without a doubt

Much longer for you to sort it out

And all at once the crowd begins to sing

Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

Maybe you want her, maybe you need her

Maybe you started to compare to someone not there

Maybe you want it, maybe you need it

Maybe it's all you're running from

Perfection will not come

Maybe you want her, maybe you need her

Maybe you had her, maybe you lost her to another

To another

Sometimes I have those moments in church when I can barely hold back my tears, wishing that no one was around so that I could fully break down and release my emotions. The pastor shared a verse, one I have heard hundreds of times before, but it hit me in a new way today. To hear that I am saved by grace, not by anything I have done or not done, came across to me in a brand new light, as if I was hearing it for the very first time. To think that I don't have to strive to be perfect or do everything right, but that I can relax, and not beat myself up every time I make a mistake...to realize that I am fully and completely accepted just the way I am by the grace of God poured out on me...it brings me to tears. To think that I don't have to measure up or prove anything to anyone, but I can rest in the fact that God's love for me won't change no matter what...that is truly remarkable. Other people can look at me and judge or condemn me, but I know where my future and hope lie...in Christ alone. And his love for me surpasses any on earth and I wouldn't trade it for the world. I am so undeserving, but today I realized that my job is not to spend my life apologizing or striving for perfection, but for being grateful for what I have, making the best of it, and seeking to understand Christ and imitate him. If I get caught up in the logistics and legalism of religion like some, I would be completely ineffective and have no influence on anyone.

I just want to live my life, enjoy my freedom, love the Lord, and learn to be content in him. He is, after all, everything I need.

Are you afraid of the dark?

Ok so I never watched that show or movie or sitcom or whatever it was that shared that title, but regardless, I've learned that I am deathly afraid of the dark. Not the dark as in the absence of light...I actually find that I can't sleep unless it's completely dark...I'm talking about the dark in the sense of not knowing things. Like if someone hides something from me or if I don't know what is going to happen in a future situation because it is in someone else's hands. If and when things happen that make me acutely aware of just how much I don't know, and just how much I'm not in control of anything, I just want to run away. To find a place where I don't have to talk to anyone and can just be in my own little world that is clean and organized and is not threatened by other people's uncertainty or indecisiveness.

I really don't think I'm asking for too much. No, I'm not at all.
I'm just not sure where I should draw the line and just stop asking for anything at all and go on with my own life.
Also, I'm contemplating deleting my facebook during this engagement/wedding season that is upon us (as if you were unsure of the innuendos that I was throwing out there, or what this entire blog post is about).