For the first time in so, so long, I am actually
legitimately excited about my future. I have a plan and the means to reach my
financial goals so that I don’t have to work forever, which is in itself a
freeing thought. But more importantly than that, I have hope. It’s one thing to
have desires and wishes and dreams for the future--everyone has those—but it’s
an entirely different thing altogether to have HOPE.
Let’s get technical for a second: the actual definition of
hope is 1- “a feeling of expectation for a certain thing to
happen; 2- a feeling of trust.”
Expectation. Trust.
I don’t know about you, but until now, those two words were
more like a foreign language to me than things I knew and understood, much less
possessed. There is something to be said for a person who can make you feel
like they would give you the world, a person who, sure, says and does all the right
things, but more than that, proves it with the kind of person they are so that
you just can’t help but believe every word they say. It’s a crazy paradox, really,
especially when in my past experience, love (although overall good) has brought
hurt and mistrust and uncertainty. I can look forward to my future with
certainty and complete trust and expectation because I finally feel wanted—like
the person I am is exactly what someone else has waited for…! What a feeling!
(okay, promise, I’m not going to break out in song…although at times I have
felt like it).
And then, I am humbled. Because I think of the love Christ
has for me, and how He longs to bless me. And how when we wait, trust, and ask
for His will, He does it. And He does
it even more abundantly than we could’ve ever imagined. And I think of this
quote my aunt shared on Facebook a while back, and am brought to tears at the realization
of how generous and loving our God really is:
“Lord, I crawled across the barrenness to You with my empty
cup, uncertain in asking my small drop of refreshment. If I had known You
better, I’d have come running with a bucket.” –Nancy Spiegelberg
Just ask. He will give you what you’ve always wanted…what
you’ve been waiting for. For He is the One who formed your heart and placed the
desire there to begin with.
