Okay, so I know that there have been multiple times in the past where I've written about my relationships and conflict and how I'm so ready to know the future and be sure of everything. And it's not that when I felt those things back then that they weren't real...but now I just have a brand new perspective on things and God has completely opened my eyes to something I've been failing to see for a long time. I over-analyze things. That is no secret. But it's not something that I'm proud of. I've come to realize that over-thinking, analyzing, and thinking catastrophically does not help anything, but it just makes it all worse.
On a side note, my new addiction is Pinterest. There are SO many good ideas, quotes, pictures, crafts, and other inspirational things on there, and it just makes me want to go live life, make creative things, and just be more awesome. But the other day I saw this quote on there, and it really caught my attention:
"No guy is worth your tears, and when you finally find one who is, he'll never make you cry."
I became extremely frustrated when I read this. What kind of fairy tale world are girls today living in? There is no perfect relationship. Love is hard. It takes work, sacrifice, and sometimes you get hurt. People are human and they make mistakes. I have an incredible relationship with an amazing guy, but that doesn't mean I never get hurt. Having a happy, lasting, loving relationship does not mean you never argue or get hurt...it means you love someone enough to tell them when you're hurt, and they do the same, and you both care enough to work on it and make it right because they're worth it. Girls need to get rid of their list of the perfect guy, and stop thinking that relationships don't require work or that if you fight it's not meant to be. Sometimes true love comes with a few tears.
This is really not me trying to be negative or crush little girls' dreams of finding their prince charming. I'm just trying to be realistic and say that if you expect perfection or to never get hurt, you will be more disappointed than if you understand what you deserve, but can also admit that it's okay to get hurt sometimes. Conflict (and the resolution thereof) can often bring people closer together because once you listen and and open up to another in honesty, you come to a greater level of understanding that is better than anything else. There is no growth without struggle.
We don't expect perfection from ourselves, and we hope and expect that others will understand and forgive us when we mess up, so why is it so hard for us to do that for others?
It's okay that I don't have everything figured out, that I still wonder about certain things, and that sometimes I feel confused. I don't have to have it all figured out right now. The time will come in the future, but it's not now, and I need to stop worrying about it. I need to learn to take life as it comes instead of trying to conquer it before it hits me. I can't control anything but myself, and I need to stop thinking that having control will make things better. God knows what is best for me. The beauty in all this is that He knows EXACTLY where I will be in 5 years, whether I will be married, to whom, if I'll have kids, where I'll be working, and everything else. I'd rather him know than me. He's got this. I just gotta relax and trust :)
