Peace

I used to think that I would fall apart, that I would be depressed and feel like my world was ending. I used to think that I would never be able to make it through something so difficult. Ever. But here I stand. By the grace of God. When the Bible talks about peace that passes understanding, that's no joke. To stand here on the edge of the unknown, after having lost the one thing I thought would always be there...and have peace-- that is truly a miracle. If there's one thing I've learned throughout this process, it's to not be surprised when God answers your prayers that are prayed in hope, trust, surrender, and expectation. I've come to a place where I am right smack dab in the middle of God's will. Without a shadow of a doubt, I know I am right where He wants me, and there is absolutely no feeling in this world that could ever come close to comparing to that. Knowing I have heard and followed after the One who created my heart brings joy and peace that overshadows all the pain and heartache that came with the choice I made to follow. Sure, there is still sadness and a great sense of loss, but I can look back and smile, knowing full well that God led me through every bit of it to get me to this exact moment where I am at peace, fully in His will. What faithfulness! What sovereignty! I am at a loss for words when I try to fathom His greatness and His goodness towards me. I know I don't deserve any of it, and that's why I can say what I say with such conviction. Because I didn't do any of it. I'm just glad He was merciful enough to let me hear His words and gave me the strength to follow after Him.

The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.