No Pressure

It is early. It is 8:30 am, I ran out of coffee 15 minutes ago, and I have 8 hours of work ahead of me. Of course, when I say "work" at this point in the semester, I really mean sitting in the office reading for pleasure, playing on Pinterest, and occasionally answering the phone if it rings. Things are pretty quiet here once all the students are gone.
When I'm here by myself for long periods of time, I have a lot of time to think. This morning, in my daily devotional app on my phone, there was a quote that said "What you fear reveals where you trust God the least." Boy, did that hit me right between the eyes. I have spent way too much of my life worrying and fretting about things that are out of my control, and holding onto fears of things that God has already taken care of (or has promised to). The truth is that deep down, I guess I think that if I'm thinking about it, then I'll be prepared for whatever happens, good or bad, and it won't catch me off guard. But when I really think about it, I realize that I'm just wasting my time by not trusting God. If you haven't noticed, many of my blogs have this theme: trust. I've never been quite sure why it's always been such a hard thing for me, especially since I have such wonderful, loving people in my life who are always taking care of me. And most importantly, I have a Heavenly Father who has a plan for my life in which he has promised to prosper and not harm me, and he has promised hope. So why am I still failing to trust, or fearing the unknown, or getting impatient with things that I really shouldn't rush?
I look back on the past 2 years of my life, and granted, I never thought I'd be where I am...I had other plans. But, I also know that God has worked all this out for a reason, and even though I may not be able to see it now, it will be worth it. One day (maybe next month or maybe in a year or 2) I'll look back and that light bulb will come on...and I'll realize why things happened the way they did- questions will be answered, and God will confirm that he is, was, and always will be in control. That is comforting for me. Surprisingly, even though I'm such a control freak in my own life, knowing that I don't control my future is kind of nice, because it takes some of the pressure off. There is literally no pressure. Sure, I will always strive to do my best, follow my Lord, and live a good life, but the bottom line is that He already knows my future :)
In 5 months, I will be finished with grad school (!!!), in the process of moving out of my apartment, hopefully have a job, and who knows what else. It's kind of scary to think about the fact that I have NO plans beyond that, but really, what plans could I make? Everything is up in the air at this point. I'm just gonna try this new thing of giving it over to God, realizing that his plan is better anyways, and not worrying about it. Because let's be honest, where's that gonna get me anyways? Besides high blood pressure, anxiety, and stress? Nowhere. God is in control, he always has been, and nothing will change. This morning I am thankful for that truth.