Beauty Marks

I wrote this next poem back in December of 2008. My parents got divorced in November of my junior year in high school, after my dad walked out on Thanksgiving Day. It was a hard time for my mom and I, as I was the only one of us 4 kids who was left at home at the time. We cried together, prayed together, and grieved together for months, trying to figure out how to pick up the pieces and move on with our lives. My parents were married for almost 30 years when he walked out, and still nothing in my mind or heart can help me understand how he thinks that was okay and I wonder if the pain or hurt he caused will every go away. One night last year I was lying in bed and all the pain from everything started to come back because I still have trust issues with any guy I date because of what my dad did. I started thinking about how much I hoped that the things I have gone through in the past don't affect the way I go about my relationships in the future. So, the words of my heart began to pour out onto paper and this is what I came up with:

She looks into the future and hopes it won't be tainted by the past.
She wants so bad to leave it all behind-that it will no longer be a part of who she is.
She has been dealt bitterness, anger, confusion.
And they have given way to knowledge of grace, knowledge of love, and a heart that longs to forgive and forget.
But she wonders how to absolve all the wrong amidst her ubiquitous pain.
The questions she asks will forever remain unanswered.
She feels she is but a face without a name, left to search for herself all alone.
The love that her heart longs for is nothing to her but a fairytale.
Her heart has been shattered like glass and has cut her soul to pieces.
The scars and the pain run deep-too deep for even the sun to shed light on.
But they are not a crutch to lean on. They are not an excuse.
Nay, they are but her beauty marks.
And her tears have cleansed her of her weariness.
For she has found One who is mighty to save.
One who takes great delight in her.
One who quiets her with His love.
One who rejoices over her with singing.
She has discovered her true identity.
And she no longer worries about the future.
For her heart has been spoken for.