Patience

I find myself in yet another stage of waiting. I feel like I've been waiting for things my entire life. I don't want to be the type of person who doesn't enjoy their experiences in life and is always waiting for the next good thing. I do enjoy things...I have been blessed with so much and so many good things in my life- but it seems like I am forever in a transition stage. Now that I have graduated with my Master's (whoa, right?!), all I want is to have my own place, a full time permanent job, and a decent income that I can live off of on my own. I guess that sounds like a lot when I put it all down like that, and it's honestly probably too much too be asking for all at once. What makes it hard is that I know I serve a God who is capable of not just those things, but even more. Problem is (and it's not really a problem-it just seems like one from my limited, human perspective) those things only happen in His timing. And unfortunately I am probably one of the most impatient people He created. And He knows that, since He formed me and knows even more about me than I do, which is why He keeps giving me opportunities to be patient. But I keep failing.

I read a quote today that said "Patience is not the ability to wait, but how you act while you're waiting." Blow my mind. That is so true. I never thought of it like that. As Christians, God constantly gives us opportunities to reflect Christ in all we do and to be an example to others during hard times. It's easy to be a good witness and show the love of Christ when things are easy and everything is going your way. It's when things don't go your way, when you are confused, doubtful and scared that people are watching the most. Those are our opportunities to let Christ shine through us the most.

I've said it once and I'll say it again. I would rather have a life full of troubles and hard times with some mountaintops mixed in than a life full of good things, because at least if you have hard times it makes you appreciate the good times even more. There are so many people that I observe in my life that seem to have it all together- everything is figured out and running smoothly. They haven't had to experience much of anything "difficult" except for maybe a broken heart once or twice. That's good for them, but when I look back over my life, while it's been better than many people's lives in this world, it hasn't looked a thing like that. It hasn't been a fairy tale, and there have been a good number of moments where I wanted to give up and give in. But keeping my faith, praying continually, and trusting God has brought me closer to Him and has taught me more than I could've ever dreamed.
I don't know where I'm going to be living or working this time next month, or what my life will look like. Yes, that is terrifying if I let myself focus on just that. But, it is also exciting and energizing because it means that the opportunities are endless. It also means that I have a perfect opportunity to surrender to my God's plan that he promises to perfect and carry on to completion (Phil. 1:6).