so I've been thinking lately...does the fact that I like to blog make me a nerd? yeah, I think it does. haha but it's okay because I love write :)
On a completely different note, I am reading a new book, "The Ragamuffin Gospel," by Brennan Manning. It is SO radical, and I absolutely love it! It talks all about how we are ragamuffins, are broken, beat up, tired, and weak, and to pretend that we understand God and everything that His love entails would be ludacris. It talks a lot about faith and how it is wanting God and at the same time wanting to not want anything else. Wow! If I could get to that place, where I didn't even want anything other than Jesus, I think my priorities would finally fall into place. In the past I have talked a little bit about the people who pretend that their lives are perfect and that everything is always wonderful, and what a shame that is because if you miss out on the inconsistencies in life, you will fail to see God's amazing goodness and love. Well, I had never read anything of the sort, I just kind of thought of it one day, but then, tonight as I was reading, I came across this:
"There are some real problems with projecting the perfect image. First of all, it's simply not true-we are not always happy, optimistic, in command. Second, projecting the flawless image keeps us from reaching people who feel we just wouldn't understand them. And third, even if we could live a life with no conflict, suffering, or mistakes, it would be a shallow existence. The Christian with depth is the person who has failed and who has learned to live with it." -Brennan Manning
Dang! Preach it brother! haha but seriously, I really feel this to be true. Because honestly, if I know someone who always has it together and nothing in their life ever seems to go wrong, I'm definitely gonna be less likely to share my struggles and problems with them because I'll feel like they're either judging me or won't understand, so I'm wasting my time anyways.
This book also talks a lot about faith, and how real faith is always growing and developing. It can't be stagnant, finished, or settled. If the things that constitute my Christian life and faith (prayer, Bible study, worship, songs, church, etc.) become routine, then they are, in all reality, dead. They are useless to me. So I have been sitting here pondering my faith and whether or not it is actually growing. There are days when I feel as if it is, and that God is really moving and speaking to me. But there are other days when I feel like a mere shadow, and that nothing I do is getting me anywhere, or that I am listening for God's still, small voice but can't hear it over the noise of my everyday life. Man, how do I get to that place where I am all ears? Where God doesn't have to tell me the same thing over and over and over and over and over. When will I learn the lessons He's been trying to teach me for years?
It frustrates me about myself.
But then, I remember that my salvation and acceptance has nothing to do with what I do or don't do. It has everything to do with what I believe. And when I finally understand that God's love for me is so crazy, unfathomable, and unreasonably amazing, and that there is nothing I can do to make Him love me more, then I will see...actually I'll probably only see the floor because I'll fall flat on my face in reverence before the King of Glory. I know I can't save myself by doing what's right or by not doing what's wrong. I have been saved. I have been washed. I have been raised to new life!
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